NEWS BULLETIN: TIMES OF UNDERWATER INDIA
“Extra Extra Read All About IT”
“BMC starts its own water-bus called FLOATUS”
Yes you heard me right. The BMC, in a most revolutionary way, has taken the BEST services to an entirely NEW Level. Come FLOATUS- the new, lightweight Water Bus service that floats on water. It is rumoured to be able to carry the weight of 200 passengers without sinking an inch.
On the other hand, scientists at the Indian Institute of Science are experimenting to device a form of fire called FIRANI which would light under water.
For more details, Turn to Page 2
NEWS BULLETIN: The UNDERWATERGRAPH-UK
Sunstick causes a RAGE!! Mass Buyouts all over the world
We all knew that the Fashionable Kate Middleton left her own legacy cosmetics brand. But now her daughter and heir apparent to the crown has launched her own lipstick called Sunstick. This revitalised new brand brings in qualities of the Sun. Through cutting edge solar absorption research and through solar vehicles orbitting our galaxy, this new lipstick provides the skin some much-needed vitamins to stay young. It is claimed that even though this is a lipstick, it is edible in small quantities and provides the body some much-needed Vit-D. Since the earth was submerged 50 years ago, people have been parched for Vit-D and this lipstick has it all in for you.
We spoke to the cosmetics company, Elizh and the company claims that this research can change the world. “Staying underwater has its own perks but lets admit it, we all miss that lovely bronze tan. Sunstick is the NEXT NEW THING. We are working on SunScreen, the essential lotion our grandparents remember about!!!”
Well, All I can say is the world awaits for Elizh to work its way through and give the world what it badly needs!!
NEWSPAPER FLASH: SYDNEY WATER-HERALDS
SHARK ATTACKS CAUSE PANIC AMONGST CRICKETERS
The Indian Cricket Team which is visiting the famous turning underwater pitches Down Under have complained of shark attacks. There was panic in the Dressing Room as Great White’s roamed freely outside even though Cricket Australia’s Ricky Ponting assured the Indian Captain, Dr. MP. MLA. Er. CA. CS. CWA. MBA. Filmmaker. Param Vir Chakra. aka GOD Sachin Tendulkar that there was no threat inspite of the pitch running right through a shark ground.
Sachin Tendulkar, at a ripe age of 100 shows the spirit one needs int he dying game of underwater cricket. “He has been there for so long! Every title ever known to man has been given to him for his vast and rich experience. We will take his word and then face the Australians”, quoted a youngster.
This is not the first time there has been a panic among a group of people. The Great Water Hole, the worldwide phenomenon when holes appeared on the ground and the whole world was submerged, caused the Great Barrier Reef’s wildlife to spill across the country thus endangering some lives while enchanting others.
Scuba divers, now out of business are selling goggles to everyone and the BCCI has purchased 300 goggles from them to be used this series and also in future overseas matches.
The status of whether the match will go on will be known in a few days.
The Environment-Economy debate will go on. Pages will be written and workshops wasted still people will not get the point. It is inevitable. When the smell of green notes overshadows the smell of a flower or freshly showered earth, I suppose we deserve an apocalypse.
Lets just hope that we can really “invent” some of those things i mentioned above to cope with having to live underwater.
Maybe we should read about those Great Whites. I have no intentions of being devoured by one anytime soon!!!