6 People You NEED to say I LOVE YOU To ASAP


A Beautiful Photograph by Copyleft Abhiraj. Like his Page on Facebook to show your appreciation for the photo
A Beautiful Photograph by Copyleft Abhiraj. Like his Page on Facebook to show your appreciation for the photo

 

Over the last week, I have had a ton of stressful things happen and have had a big U Turn on my outlook for life. Needless to say, I realised we take life for granted and with everything that keeps us occupied these days, we forget to say so many things to the people we love. And when the chance comes to say, it never should happen to be too late to say a kind or loving word.

One of the posts I had read over the years is a story of a man, his grandmother and grandfather. The crux of the story is what the grandfather tells his grandson. “It is Always Easy to be CLEVER. Everyone can be clever. Be KIND.”

This, combined with the gravity of the situation that I am wrapped in, made me simply realise how much we denied our love for people. We’re always finding something or the other to hide behind, rather than melt in those feelings and share some quality time with our loved ones. Work, studies and everything seems to suddenly come in between birthdays, friendships, celebrations, traditions, festivals. And somehow, people and time don’t stay the same. We lose touch and find ourselves alone.

The solution? A simple I Love You. It helps to mend bridges, make friends and maintain the relations we’re in! Those 3 words are certainly the words that you need to hear after a tough day. Say it before you regret not having said it. Say it because you’ve always wanted to say it. Forget that image you need to keep or that silly fight you had or that disagreement. Maybe they have become slow with age and annoy you. Maybe you feel you don’t have time for them.

But, say it. Say it enough. There can never be a right time. There can never be a right moment. No date you can mark on your calendar. Just say it!

Here are 5 People You Need to say I LOVE YOU to As Soon As Possible

 

1. Your Mother

Yes she helps you around, pushes you towards all your commitments and helps out with projects. She stays up late at night simply to give you company when you’re swotting for an exam or to make sure you get your work done. She also makes you delicious drool-worthy food, everyday. There’s always your favorite goodies for your birthday or when you want to celebrate an occasion. She’s spent nights awake, when you’ve been ill. She’s the one who cries the most when you set out to explore the world and leave the nest. She’s the one who spends time hearing out your problems and always checks up on you once in a while, even if you forget.

Say I LOVE YOU to Mom (Mum, Mother, Mumma, Amma, Mami or anything you call her!!) today! Make her day!

 

2. Your Father

Your father can be your best friend. Or he can be the one you turn to when you need help planning something. He gives you those crucial life lessons because he’s been there and done that. He’s left so many of his dreams behind and laughed with you as you’ve grown up. He’s the rock behind your family and his influence always sets the way at how you look at the world and people. He works late nights and you don’t get time often, with him, but those holidays where you explore a hidden side to him you never knew. How about his wicked sense of humour you just recently discovered?

Say I LOVE YOU to Papa ( Father, Daddy, Dad, Papi,Abba, Baba or anything you call him!!) today!! Tell Papa you care!

 

3. Your Grandparents

They’ve given you goodies all your life. Whatever you’ve wanted, they’ve never said no. You can always expect a royal pampering when you meet them. Their sweaters kept you warm, that yummy food that granny made, always makes your mouth water. They’ve taken you to parks and laughed as you took your first step. They support you. You’re the apple of their eye. Maybe they are aging. They can’t see or remember as clearly as before. But you’re still that warm, fuzzy child they held in the hospital even after all these years. Time is of so much essence with your grandparents. Life will always go on but we live with a limited amount of time with the people who give us comfort that we carry through all our lives.

Say I LOVE YOU to Granny and Grandpa (Nana and Nani, Aaji and Ajoba or whatever you call them!!) today!! Visit them the next time you have a weekend off or just talk to them and involve them in your life. Hear those stories of their youth. Just do it!

 

4. Your Best Friend(s)

You’ve spent the best times of your life with him/her/them. All those good memories always make you laugh. They’ve supported you through thick and thin. They are the ones who know with one glance what is wrong with you. They’ve been to birthdays, celebrations and every other function you can think of. They’re the ones who make your life complete.

Life moves on and gets busy. You think of talking but then somehow you miss it. Don’t let those friends go!!

Say I LOVE YOU to them before life sweeps them away from you. Tell them that they matter!

 

5. Your Siblings and Cousins

They protect you from pain. They are the ones you talk to when you have any problems. You’ve always fought but they are the ones who know you and all your moods. Their light and frothy talk is what you need to cheer up. Secretly you feel like playing a prank on them or simply wrestling like when you were kids.

Say  I LOVE YOU to just show them you care!!!

 

Now I seem to have covered everything yet missed out on the most important one!

6. YOURSELF!!

You matter. You. YOU’ve been your best friend for as long as you remember. When you’ve cried alone or been stressed alone, you’re the one who has supported yourself along the way. Your victorious heartbeat can silence any other sound on any given day. Isn’t it any wonder why we should say I Love You to ourselves first? We can lose ourselves anyday to any circumstance or situation. Life can snatch us anytime, without a prior warning. It never hurts to give your own self some love.

Say I Love You to YOU!!! Simply because You Deserve It. Simply because YOU EARNED IT!

 

To conclude, one of my favorite songs with really beautiful lyrics

 

Yesterday Once More: Long Gone Karen Carpenter!!


She’s long forgotten!! She died on 4th February 1983 and I am 2 days late in writing this post about how unabashedly sad I am about her untimely death!!

karen1Who is she and why am I dedicating a post to her?

Karen Anne Carpenter (March 2, 1950 – February 4, 1983) was an American singer and drummer. She and her brother, Richard, formed the 1970s duo, the Carpenters. Although her skills as a drummer earned admiration from drumming luminaries and peers, she is best known for her vocal performances. She had a contralto vocal range.

Carpenter suffered from anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder which was little known at the time. She died at age 32 from heart failure caused by complications related to her illness. Carpenter’s death led to increased visibility and awareness of eating disorders

This is what Wikipedia says about her.

I discovered the Carpenters quite by accident. I was downloading some songs for my mother who loves their songs and when Ikaren2 listened to their songs, I absolutely loved them. They were so typical of the era, soft, mystical and clean. Mostly clean lyrics focusing so much on emotions. Karen and Richard made good music. They made music that could heal you on any given day. Karen’s magical voice could cut through all my misery, literally!!

Remember the song, “Top Of The World”

Such a feelin’s comin’ over me

There is wonder in most everything I see

Not a cloud in the sky

Got the sun in my eyes

And I won’t be surprised if it’s a dream

Look at her smile!!
Look at her smile!!

Everything I want the world to be

Is now coming true especially for me

And the reason is clear

It’s because you are here

You’re the nearest thing to heaven that I’ve seen

I’m on the top of the world lookin’ down on creation

And the only explanation I can find

Is the love that I’ve found ever since you’ve been around

Your love’s put me at the top of the world

karen4Something in the wind has learned my name

And it’s tellin’ me that things are not the same

In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze

There’s a pleasin’ sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind

When this day is through I hope that I will find

That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me

All I need will be mine if you are here

I’m on the top of the world lookin’ down on creation

And the only explanation I can find

Is the love that I’ve found ever since you’ve been around

Your love’s put me at the top of the world

karen5I am sure so many of you readers can resonate with these lyrics. They never fail to bring a smile to my face.

The reason I am so very sad with Karen’s death was her ANOREXIA!

In those days, people never came out with their eating disorders. Karen was not stunningly beautiful but she had this rare quality which drew you to her, if you saw some of her videos you would instantly realise!! She had this beautiful face and a very mature voice which is unbelievably melodious. And she died at the age of 33 because her heart couldn’t take the complications of over 14 years of crash dieting.

This, precisely this made me feel so very sad. She was so bright. People still tear up mentioning her. I see so many fresh comments on her YouTube concerts where people say they miss her. It is impossible to ignore the people she touched in the short time she was here!

The day I read about her death and saw her photos, saw what the disease had made her, the true extent of our society’s malaise struck me. Here was a perfectly good-looking woman who has a worldwide following. She felt the need to diet and to cause so much harm to her body. She felt she wasn’t good enough inspite of being so very loved and followed.

It made me wonder about the people at the very common level. She was a star, undeniably. But what about you, me or anyone you know? Since when did we let a commercial or a shop sale, (= I feel a tremendous bout of guilt when I don’t find anything to buy in a sale!!) decide whether we were beautiful? And why was our society SO OBSESSED WITH OUR PHYSICAL LOOKS?

karen8

That is how Karen looked a while before she died! A skeleton. Done in by our society’s warped ideals of what a man would want or what made us beautiful. It isn’t just by chance that I found this blog which was documenting Extremely Sexist Advertisements during the 1950s.

It saddens me everytime I read about her death. Why do I read about it then? When it makes me so morose? To remind me that nothing that people say should drag me to the point of becoming like this. She was stunning. I would love to be in her place, jamming and cutting out albums. Doing world tours! But not like this. Nobody deserves to end like this!

In a way, Karen’s death opened up the floodgates for research into anorexia and behaviours linked to food. The plethora of information that we have and the eating disorders which are so easy to diagnose today, are courtesy the death which shocked so many people all over the world!

I can’t help get caught in the warped web of deception and the whole “I have to look Beautiful” line. But it helps to sometimes remember that if only someone could help Karen out the way there is help for anorexia or bullimia today, that maybe we would have had the very gifted and talented singer yet amongst us!!

I do, I do take her loss personally!! It always seems as if she tells me to not take life too seriously! That I am beautiful no matter what. And if I was among people who didn’t endorse the view, then I needn’t get disheartened. This beautiful woman gives me the strength to not go down her path and to always love me!

I don’t seek to advice or lecture about anyone’s sense of beauty or self-esteem. I just wanted to give Karen a tribute that the number of lives you have saved today, by the research spurned on after your death is monumental! And I can’t thank you enough! Wherever you are, I hope you are at peace and I really hope your songs continue to be played for years after!!

As I close in on my first post dedicated to people who have changed my thinking, I leave you with lyrics from another Carpenters song called ‘Yesterday Once More’ which is also the title to this post. I selected that because I was bringing in yesterday here with me, once more, in remembering Karen’s contribution to society and her everlasting impact on music!

Lookin’ back on how it was in years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad, so much has changed.

It was songs of love that I would sing to then
And I’d memorize each word
Those old melodies still sound so good to me
As they melt the years away

Every sha-la-la-la
Every wo-o-wo-o, still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling, that they’re startin’ to sing’s so fine

All my best memories come back clearly to me
Some can even make me cry, just like before
It’s yesterday once more

Epilogue: Just to show my recent internet searches about sexist vintage ads, some links!! Never doubt your beauty ladies!! We’re all special!!

http://neatdesigns.net/35-extremely-sexist-ads-that-you-should-see/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/17/sexist-vintage-ads_n_1798977.html#slide=1396785

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/16/vintage-sexist-ads_n_4612110.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

My Nightly Affair


There is something really alluring about a quiet night. It gives you time to heal. It gives you space. Mostly it is silent as you ponder.

I’ve not fallen asleep immediately many a times. When I was small, there was a bright light outside my window. My mother used to say that Dracula would come and bite my neck if I didn’t sleep. And it didn’t help that I’d seen a movie where a hawk flies into a room, turns into a blood hungry monster and bites a rather beautiful looking woman.

There is something special about looking out of the window. Especially when the world sleeps. There is calm. There is quiet. The night just encompasses you into itself and you can unravel there.

Today is just one of the nights when sleep doesn’t come easy. Maybe it is exam stress, maybe a feeling of entrapment. The night doesn’t judge when I open the window. Cool air rushes in to replace the air suffocating me.

There is not a soul stirring here. I close my eyes and breathe deeply. There is a marvelous change which happens when you just breathe. Most of today we spend short charging ourself and indeed breathing, labouring through. The night makes me want to breathe easy. It makes me want to live.

I spent quite a while just breathing. Openly. Letting go of me. During the day our lives are all about ME. The nights become all about us. Such a subtle change. Yet such a vital one.

A cool wind suddenly brushes through my hair. Sometimes I can feel the wind there when I felt I was alone. I think it tries to tell me to sleep. And that there would be another.

Another night
Another gust of air
More peace for me to expand in
More love and backing that I could contract into

I really do love nights. They make me whole. They make me love.

Can You Hear Me Papa


 

Saturday, January 21st

Papa!!

Can you hear me Papa?? Papa Where are You? They told me you’ve gone but I don’t believe that. You can’t go. You didn’t say goodbye. I was just finishing off my exhibition in Jehangir when i got the call.

Papa, I… what happened then?? At that time?? They told me you were trying to help someone. And that you were carried away. Oh Papa. It isn’t fair that this should happen. You were simply helping a civilian stuck and they mistook you for Police and shot at you. Papa, I didn’t even get to see you once. I wish..wish i’d been there, to intercede, to stop it somehow, to save you. Keep you forever. Oh Papa!!!

 

Monday, March 4th

Papa, I didn’t even get to complete my phone call the other day with you. I didnt get to tell you so much. About how my exhibition went. It was beautiful Papa. 50 Oil Paintings i made. About Darjeeling. About Kolkata. About our home. About You. It was a success. Many sold. There is a re-exhibition.

 

Wednesday, April 16th

Papa. You pushed me into this even though i never wanted to give myself a chance. Where i am now is because you believed in me. Papa, I’ve got photos to show you. I did the paintings, i did the exhibition. I did paintings for corporates. I’ve been published about. I’ve got to tell you stuff. Now please come back.

Friday, May 7th

Papa…I’ve even started gardening. Keeping your roses and lillies like before. They miss you too. I’ve even painted some of them. Papa your room is full of my paintings now. PLease come back na.

Papa, the whole house is filled with guests. They keep coming and giving me their sympathies while i brew tea for them. But you’re coming back. You said so yourself na papa. Then why are they here. I dont like it. All these sad people in one place poking around where its not required. You’re totally fine. I just met you yesterday.

 

Monday, June 6th.

Papa, I’m painting from home now. I’ve relocated back to Darjeeling. I frequent those tea gardens and that stall you go to everyday. I think you’re teasing me by not coming and saying hi when you’re just around the corner.This is not fair papa. You’ve been playinh hide and seek for so long.

Thursday, August 29th

Papa, they think I’m mad. Just because i talk to you and i can see you. Papa but isn’t it true that you talk to me. There is so much you tell me. Everyday. About your experiences. I know you’re around coz you’ve used some of your cologne. And your clothes look fresh and pressed when you meet me.

Sunday, October 1st

Papa, they are taking me away to an asylum. Papa, mum agrees with them. She thinks i am mad too. They are taking me papa. where is this place….papa do something. I’m being locked in a white room. They are putting some jacket on me. Papa..Can you hear me Papa?? Papa where are you…papa this is not happening..

papa..do something….can you hear m..!!