6 People You NEED to say I LOVE YOU To ASAP


A Beautiful Photograph by Copyleft Abhiraj. Like his Page on Facebook to show your appreciation for the photo
A Beautiful Photograph by Copyleft Abhiraj. Like his Page on Facebook to show your appreciation for the photo

 

Over the last week, I have had a ton of stressful things happen and have had a big U Turn on my outlook for life. Needless to say, I realised we take life for granted and with everything that keeps us occupied these days, we forget to say so many things to the people we love. And when the chance comes to say, it never should happen to be too late to say a kind or loving word.

One of the posts I had read over the years is a story of a man, his grandmother and grandfather. The crux of the story is what the grandfather tells his grandson. “It is Always Easy to be CLEVER. Everyone can be clever. Be KIND.”

This, combined with the gravity of the situation that I am wrapped in, made me simply realise how much we denied our love for people. We’re always finding something or the other to hide behind, rather than melt in those feelings and share some quality time with our loved ones. Work, studies and everything seems to suddenly come in between birthdays, friendships, celebrations, traditions, festivals. And somehow, people and time don’t stay the same. We lose touch and find ourselves alone.

The solution? A simple I Love You. It helps to mend bridges, make friends and maintain the relations we’re in! Those 3 words are certainly the words that you need to hear after a tough day. Say it before you regret not having said it. Say it because you’ve always wanted to say it. Forget that image you need to keep or that silly fight you had or that disagreement. Maybe they have become slow with age and annoy you. Maybe you feel you don’t have time for them.

But, say it. Say it enough. There can never be a right time. There can never be a right moment. No date you can mark on your calendar. Just say it!

Here are 5 People You Need to say I LOVE YOU to As Soon As Possible

 

1. Your Mother

Yes she helps you around, pushes you towards all your commitments and helps out with projects. She stays up late at night simply to give you company when you’re swotting for an exam or to make sure you get your work done. She also makes you delicious drool-worthy food, everyday. There’s always your favorite goodies for your birthday or when you want to celebrate an occasion. She’s spent nights awake, when you’ve been ill. She’s the one who cries the most when you set out to explore the world and leave the nest. She’s the one who spends time hearing out your problems and always checks up on you once in a while, even if you forget.

Say I LOVE YOU to Mom (Mum, Mother, Mumma, Amma, Mami or anything you call her!!) today! Make her day!

 

2. Your Father

Your father can be your best friend. Or he can be the one you turn to when you need help planning something. He gives you those crucial life lessons because he’s been there and done that. He’s left so many of his dreams behind and laughed with you as you’ve grown up. He’s the rock behind your family and his influence always sets the way at how you look at the world and people. He works late nights and you don’t get time often, with him, but those holidays where you explore a hidden side to him you never knew. How about his wicked sense of humour you just recently discovered?

Say I LOVE YOU to Papa ( Father, Daddy, Dad, Papi,Abba, Baba or anything you call him!!) today!! Tell Papa you care!

 

3. Your Grandparents

They’ve given you goodies all your life. Whatever you’ve wanted, they’ve never said no. You can always expect a royal pampering when you meet them. Their sweaters kept you warm, that yummy food that granny made, always makes your mouth water. They’ve taken you to parks and laughed as you took your first step. They support you. You’re the apple of their eye. Maybe they are aging. They can’t see or remember as clearly as before. But you’re still that warm, fuzzy child they held in the hospital even after all these years. Time is of so much essence with your grandparents. Life will always go on but we live with a limited amount of time with the people who give us comfort that we carry through all our lives.

Say I LOVE YOU to Granny and Grandpa (Nana and Nani, Aaji and Ajoba or whatever you call them!!) today!! Visit them the next time you have a weekend off or just talk to them and involve them in your life. Hear those stories of their youth. Just do it!

 

4. Your Best Friend(s)

You’ve spent the best times of your life with him/her/them. All those good memories always make you laugh. They’ve supported you through thick and thin. They are the ones who know with one glance what is wrong with you. They’ve been to birthdays, celebrations and every other function you can think of. They’re the ones who make your life complete.

Life moves on and gets busy. You think of talking but then somehow you miss it. Don’t let those friends go!!

Say I LOVE YOU to them before life sweeps them away from you. Tell them that they matter!

 

5. Your Siblings and Cousins

They protect you from pain. They are the ones you talk to when you have any problems. You’ve always fought but they are the ones who know you and all your moods. Their light and frothy talk is what you need to cheer up. Secretly you feel like playing a prank on them or simply wrestling like when you were kids.

Say  I LOVE YOU to just show them you care!!!

 

Now I seem to have covered everything yet missed out on the most important one!

6. YOURSELF!!

You matter. You. YOU’ve been your best friend for as long as you remember. When you’ve cried alone or been stressed alone, you’re the one who has supported yourself along the way. Your victorious heartbeat can silence any other sound on any given day. Isn’t it any wonder why we should say I Love You to ourselves first? We can lose ourselves anyday to any circumstance or situation. Life can snatch us anytime, without a prior warning. It never hurts to give your own self some love.

Say I Love You to YOU!!! Simply because You Deserve It. Simply because YOU EARNED IT!

 

To conclude, one of my favorite songs with really beautiful lyrics

 

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To Die or DieT


It is often said that the situations you encounter in life are those which you can handle. Life always throws you a curve ball which you’re able to handle, or maybe learn from.

I faced one of these personal life changing moments last week, precisely last saturday when I had to get a blood test done. I’ve always been scared of getting “pricked” as I call it. I’ve been told countless times that a blood test is not a BIG DEAL. Just get it over with. But for someonr who is mortified, having been there and overcoming it somehow gave me a little bit of confidence that maybe I could handle the next curveball.

One thing which is definitive of our society and all of us is the deep urge to be thin and look pretty. Somewhere down the line we let our waist size come in our way of defining beauty . And this, was precisely the curve ball coming my way.

Staying fit is not an alternative anymore. It is necessary, crucial and even life saving. How do you approach it but? You can either

– starve

– join a Gym

– Go to a Dietician

– Train for a Marathon

The last one is a sure shot way of changing your perspective of your body. I’ve realised seeing it very closely amongst people I know and love. The transformation that takes place when you elevate your body on a pedestal and put it to the ultimate test. And I want a taste of it too. I want to run my marathons too.

The dilemma that faces me is the dietician. To do or not to do. To die or DieT in my words. What is a diet and why would you willingly torture yourself into starvation? No I hear. Dieticians give you healthier options. They make sure you are never hungry. You have to stick to a plan and follow it through. Maybe a few random misses allowed.

But is this what I really truly want to get to the goal of a leaner body? And maybe a lot fitter too? The role of exercise is indisputable and yet the focus is so much on food. I believe if people exercised or rather trained for a marathon, everyone would be so fit because of the enormity of the goal, you just don’t become lax.

I’m sceptical. What can the dietician do which my mother’s cooking of healthy food which I happen to love, can’t? I have cravings for food. I also keep thinking I’d eat, in moderation because if I died I wouldn’t want to have dieted and died by starving off what I felt like eating when I felt like eating.

So then here I am faced with a choice. Not a choice so much as an experiment. Does it come down to the point where I die or dieT? Will eating a million times a day help oor will drinking all sorts of fancy concoctions do the wonders? Will it show results And how soon? Will I spend this entire year clasped in a plan and not move beyond?

What is it finally then?

Am I really charting my way to a certain glutton filled death or am I being salvaged by my dieT?

My Sketch Pens


I have always loved colour. Since I was a child. I’ve been told that I used to get so excited looking at a photo of a volcano or fire. I remember seeing the vivid and bright colours shocking the page and then cooling down to molten lava and finally becoming stone.

Slowly pictures in books graduated to colour in a book. My first crayolas as I drew random lines supposedly meaning something and showed it so proudly to everyone! A pessimist would have laughed at the crude lines but I wasn’t one to listen right? I had a huge sense of achievement of having put colour on a drab paper.

School and  college graduated with lots of colorful projects using splashes of colour. I can now relate to a few words and how colorful they made me feel.  Like a soft muted sky blue or a fiery red or a lush deep green. How about the deep and dark purple or the verdant orange or the squishy alive brown? Colours made the world so beautiful to see. I’ve had my childhood defined by crayolas. Those wonderful wax crayon sticks with so many innovative names like “Granny Smith Apple’ and ‘Salmon Pink’ or ‘Cornish Blue’. Oh and the crayola markers and stamp it pens!

Over time, as numbers and figures nudged out colourful and seemingly “childish” crayon projects, I pushed those sketch pens inside my cupboard. Until today.

My usual study routine was interrupted by my cousin who came to visit. When he discovered a random highlight pen I used to mark important stuff, he had to have a paper to draw on. Suddenly I remembered crayola and those sketch pens.  Out they came. With each new colour his gasps came louder and his eyes sparkled with new vigour. Oh a blue would never have seemed as exciting as it did today.

Oh no it wasn’t a masterpiece just some random lines and dots and general scribble but the pride he took in displaying that! I was teleported into another world. I played with him too, opening the sketch pens and getting a random scribble in between. And it had never been this much fun.

I realised we’re so quick to dismiss something so sweetly innocent as a child’s random art just because we’re looking for some sort of elusive perfection. I wish I could use those crayons and pens in writing exam papers. I’d make it look so much more interesting!

Looking at the whole world akin to a blank slate is so liberating. Somebody has already filled in the colours but not for a child. For a child every white is something that can be discovered with a splash of colour. I learnt this today.

It was such a beautiful moment showing off this art, even the random squiggle. Maybe the way I looked at it changed. Maybe I painted my childhood out there. Maybe I decided to make the world my canvas.

Beauty is not Plastic.  It can be anywhere and in any form. I found beauty today in a bunch of sketch pens!! Which I will now never let go or gather dust again!!

Part 1 of Beautiful Me, Beautiful World

 

P.S These are my pens which I use while studying.  I still cannot use only one colour while making notes which makes my book a little bit of an art show :p

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My Nightly Affair


There is something really alluring about a quiet night. It gives you time to heal. It gives you space. Mostly it is silent as you ponder.

I’ve not fallen asleep immediately many a times. When I was small, there was a bright light outside my window. My mother used to say that Dracula would come and bite my neck if I didn’t sleep. And it didn’t help that I’d seen a movie where a hawk flies into a room, turns into a blood hungry monster and bites a rather beautiful looking woman.

There is something special about looking out of the window. Especially when the world sleeps. There is calm. There is quiet. The night just encompasses you into itself and you can unravel there.

Today is just one of the nights when sleep doesn’t come easy. Maybe it is exam stress, maybe a feeling of entrapment. The night doesn’t judge when I open the window. Cool air rushes in to replace the air suffocating me.

There is not a soul stirring here. I close my eyes and breathe deeply. There is a marvelous change which happens when you just breathe. Most of today we spend short charging ourself and indeed breathing, labouring through. The night makes me want to breathe easy. It makes me want to live.

I spent quite a while just breathing. Openly. Letting go of me. During the day our lives are all about ME. The nights become all about us. Such a subtle change. Yet such a vital one.

A cool wind suddenly brushes through my hair. Sometimes I can feel the wind there when I felt I was alone. I think it tries to tell me to sleep. And that there would be another.

Another night
Another gust of air
More peace for me to expand in
More love and backing that I could contract into

I really do love nights. They make me whole. They make me love.

In Your Head


Voices speak all around you. You shake your head trying to focus. It always feels like there is someone right by your ear whispering but no matter how much you try he does not go away. People smile at you and there is an awkward spasm. It never was so crowded here before.
There are people moving with you when you walk. Dressed in sombre colours. Always pushing you.. Pushing you to do something more, making you feel you’re never good enough. Their long fingers trace patterns on your back as you sit trying to read the same book you’ve been reading for the past year.
There is a restless, almost insane look about you. You move your feet restlessly waiting for something to happen. Everything that was your friend earlier now seems a foe. You want to throw those books lying everywhere, why do people read so much anyway?? That food in the cupboard, the smell nauseates you. You want to do yet your mind turns you away.
You try to pick up a pen to write, it falls, your hand shakes too much. The air seems too suffocating so you move to the balcony. Cool winds hit your face. Life moves on as you remain frozen, watching quietly. That pace irritates you. Those pills in the cupboard you werent supposed to take, have become a daily habit now. You get one more and pop it in. You close your eyes.
You look around, impatient. Wanting to do something yet not having any strength. There is a subtle change in the people around you. They come closer to you, holding their hands out, protecting you. More people wearing black pour into the room trying to get to you. You tear yourself away. The lamp on the table falls and glass shatters. You get down on your knees trying to scream but no voice comes out. Swords are slashing as the people in black come closer and closer to you. You try to crawl on the glass, hurting your wrists but it doesn’t work. They are pulling them towards you. A black door opens while you are dragged on the floor. You hold on to the lamp because the wire pulls you back. Blood soaks your sleeves and tears blind your eyes. You resist so hard. And it doesn’t work. Yet again!
You knock against the furniture, holding on to anything that will make you stay. There are more voices, telling you what to do, how to break free. But why don’t they come and help you? You feel pain and more pain as the lamp cuts through. The door approaches closer and finally you are lifted and thrown into a deep bottomless pit.
You open your eyes and find yourself in the same place you were before. Those voices, they scare people, they scare you. You wonder how long this will last, how many times before they throw you like a rag doll.
Yes, it’s a war. In Your Head.
( inspired by: Schizophrenia)

Travelling Solo


I had the chance to plan BIG for my parents this year for their 25th Anniversary. I thought of the time that they had spent together and how often they let go of their own time, to help us with our problems. Also, many times the places we finally ended up visiting were those which we picked or that someone else recommended. I realized how much my parents had done for me all these years.

spainFinally I decided on Spain!!! Exotic and Beautiful Spain!! It was some place my mother had been wanting to go for ages!!

But selecting the destination was only half of the pressure. I had to select hotels, check locations and then check the costing. All in the while, this made me want to Travel Solo!!

While with inflation and costing worries on my mind, I turned to freelance work to supplement my income and I was delighted at the turn my life took. I started reading and reviewing books by independent authors and this opened my life to myriad possibilities.

It also made me dream of travelling solo, across different countries. I find many different places to visit every day online and looking at spain 2those photos and reading about a new country, a new city and a new culture only make me feel so excited. It makes me wish I had millions in my bank account so I could travel everyday!

I can’t really define what makes travelling so special for me. I do not enjoy packing (=well who does?) and airplane journeys aren’t the best. Neither have I had trips with friends like films (=even though I so badly want to). But planning this trip made me dream. It sparked a flame inside me, to go on a trek, to visit a different place with a group of totally unknown people and make friends for life!!

travelWhile we do our fair share of travelling in our cities and philosophically, we do travel through life, solo, but going to visit a new place, interacting with new people and having new experiences has a different flavor altogether. You suddenly have more experiences to talk about.

Even if you haven’t been lucky to travel abroad, do save up for it because believe me, there are so many stunning sights you have never even imagined. I have a bucket list of 1000 different places where I want to go and sights I want to see!! The sky is the limit when you travel. You are so out of your comfort zone that you adapt and learn! Being a foodie myself, a trip offers chances to taste new cuisine.

travel 2I’ve put up my Bucket List and I am going to be an Indi-Traveller, travelling on my own, discovering new sights and secrets!!! As I take a deep breath in, I can’t wait to put my best foot forward and fly solo. The world is my diary!! And it waits!!

iCan and iDid


When my mom and sister were registering for the DNA iCan Fun Run for 5 kms, I was skeptical. I doubted if I could do it. And I thought I was too lazy to run, let alone walk for 5 kms. Nonetheless, I registered and thought if I didn’t feel like it, I probably wouldn’t turn up.

I don’t remember ever practicing, let alone running in preparation for this. As the date of the marathon came closer, I got excited for some reason. I was looking forward to the marathon. Going and running for 5 kms was a challenge and an exciting one.

I selected my dress with a lot of care and tied my hair up with my favourite hair clips. There were a few hearts with glitter and one clip which resembled a beach slip-on. I loved such eccentric hair clips and it had been a while since I’d picked that one out.

When we went to BKC, the atmosphere was like a festival. A lot of women had gathered and a lot of men too, to cheer them up. While the D for Dynamic, N for Nutty and A for Awesome chants sound very cliché, it felt really nice to say that.

When Akshay Kumar flagged off the Fun Run, I knew I was on to something special. I trotted along and saw my mother and sister disappear into the crowd. I ran and alternated it with walking. When I looked around I could see so many ladies from all walks of life who had come. As they ran and cheered each other up, I realized, they too were here to show that they could.

It was a long walk ahead when my mind began wandering and musing. I realized I could do this. Even though my heartbeat was fast, I could handle it. It felt stupendous knowing that I did not even need to push myself, I just did it.

I could see I was picking up pace and leaving a lot of ladies behind. I started comparing my speed while I was walking when I realized that this was what I did everyday. I compared myself to so many women, thinking about how pretty they looked and how I needed to push harder to get inside the train. And then it struck me, this was MY MOMENT. It was my race. It was my run. I didn’t need to carry them along.

When we reached the half0way mark, I knew I was on to something special. While my heart was pumping blood, it was also pumping a huge sense of achievement. I could see some men running with their better half just to cheer them on and I missed my family in that one moment.

I picked up pace and ran as fast as I could towards the last leg of the run. I knew I could do it. The last one kilometer, I must have probably crushed the bottle I had in my hand. But I knew I wanted this moment for long. To run past the finish line and douse myself in water and feel that excitement of having won.

I put in some extra effort and made it past the finish line in 45 minutes without any practice and probably a lot of sweat (wouldn’t be fair to say without breaking into a sweat)

Even though there were a lot of women who finished before me, I felt this huge sense of pride. I HAD DONE IT. Inspite of a lot of doubts including a healthy dose of my own, I’d done it. I realized we as a society tend to place so many restrictions on our people. You can’t do this, it just isn’t done this way, it never works out like this. We get so used to doing things the way they are “supposed to be done” that we stop listening to our own hearts. They say the most reassuring sound is the sound of your own heartbeat. That day, my victorious heartbeat drowned out every other sound I could hear.

ican

I realized no matter what a crazy nut I was, I was me. I could do whatever I put my mind to. And that even if I made mistakes or made wrong choices or took the wrong path, I’d come to the right path eventually. Having everyone tell me what “should be done” wasn’t making me an ideal daughter, it was making me a subservient person without my own personality.

That day, my mind soared and my heart beat for my victory. I knew from that day that iCan and iDid

Can You Hear Me Papa


 

Saturday, January 21st

Papa!!

Can you hear me Papa?? Papa Where are You? They told me you’ve gone but I don’t believe that. You can’t go. You didn’t say goodbye. I was just finishing off my exhibition in Jehangir when i got the call.

Papa, I… what happened then?? At that time?? They told me you were trying to help someone. And that you were carried away. Oh Papa. It isn’t fair that this should happen. You were simply helping a civilian stuck and they mistook you for Police and shot at you. Papa, I didn’t even get to see you once. I wish..wish i’d been there, to intercede, to stop it somehow, to save you. Keep you forever. Oh Papa!!!

 

Monday, March 4th

Papa, I didn’t even get to complete my phone call the other day with you. I didnt get to tell you so much. About how my exhibition went. It was beautiful Papa. 50 Oil Paintings i made. About Darjeeling. About Kolkata. About our home. About You. It was a success. Many sold. There is a re-exhibition.

 

Wednesday, April 16th

Papa. You pushed me into this even though i never wanted to give myself a chance. Where i am now is because you believed in me. Papa, I’ve got photos to show you. I did the paintings, i did the exhibition. I did paintings for corporates. I’ve been published about. I’ve got to tell you stuff. Now please come back.

Friday, May 7th

Papa…I’ve even started gardening. Keeping your roses and lillies like before. They miss you too. I’ve even painted some of them. Papa your room is full of my paintings now. PLease come back na.

Papa, the whole house is filled with guests. They keep coming and giving me their sympathies while i brew tea for them. But you’re coming back. You said so yourself na papa. Then why are they here. I dont like it. All these sad people in one place poking around where its not required. You’re totally fine. I just met you yesterday.

 

Monday, June 6th.

Papa, I’m painting from home now. I’ve relocated back to Darjeeling. I frequent those tea gardens and that stall you go to everyday. I think you’re teasing me by not coming and saying hi when you’re just around the corner.This is not fair papa. You’ve been playinh hide and seek for so long.

Thursday, August 29th

Papa, they think I’m mad. Just because i talk to you and i can see you. Papa but isn’t it true that you talk to me. There is so much you tell me. Everyday. About your experiences. I know you’re around coz you’ve used some of your cologne. And your clothes look fresh and pressed when you meet me.

Sunday, October 1st

Papa, they are taking me away to an asylum. Papa, mum agrees with them. She thinks i am mad too. They are taking me papa. where is this place….papa do something. I’m being locked in a white room. They are putting some jacket on me. Papa..Can you hear me Papa?? Papa where are you…papa this is not happening..

papa..do something….can you hear m..!!

The One That Got Away


The One That Got Away

There was a sharp pull in my right foot as I ran to catch a train. The more I pulled, the harder it became to go ahead. Until I stopped. And let that train go away.

As I ran towards the platform, waiting for another one, it pained me that I had let that train go away. That I was late for class is a given but the whole system of running from one place to another was taking a toll on me.

The more you push yourself headlong into the world, the more it tries to bounce you out. They didn’t come up with ‘push or perish’ for any specific reason. Our whole life it’s been, push yourself to get better results, push others to make your way to the top, push your point to win an argument, push so you can get your work done fast without worrying about the consequences.

A very wise man once said to me that the world expects you to be like the moon and show only your bright side, the one lit by the sun. What everyone fails to realise is that there is always a dark side, a flip side, the back side that nobody sees. It’s become such a routine really. Sometimes it feels like we’re playing very well cut out roles in someone else’s Iliad or Odyssey.

I wondered how it came to be this way, all of us acting different lives everywhere. Putting on a face at work, pushing through the week with glassy eyes and then pushing through the weekend dreading the week ahead.

When we were small, they told us about values and ethics and how to be a good girl/boy. And the minute we started dreaming, they wanted a share of that too. It’s like the whole world is out to tax every bit of your happiness that you must share. Even though your arm is twisted, you have to smile.

All my life at least, I’ve been told to grow up. To take on responsibilities and to do things simply because they should be done.  Even I haven’t spared myself some downgrading critique when I didn’t come up to someone else’s words.

When did letting a train go become such a crime? When did we start taxing smiles and exempting anger, moodiness and arrogance? How did we come to function like “adults” but instead displaying the most childish behaviour everywhere? And then we complain of meltdowns and curse ourselves when sometimes we just can’t help crying for no reason at all.

Indeed I’ve come to realise that life is what slips by when we push to stay in the train. Maybe those few minutes looking at yourself in the mirror weren’t so bad. Maybe I can cut myself some slack if I fall asleep while watching TV. Maybe you can just laugh at your mistake instead of wanting to kick yourself.

Maybe letting go isn’t so bad after all. Maybe, in a hidden way, we all hope someone helps us let go and grow up after all!

Walk Alone but Walk Strong!!!

Maybe I Was Destined


It had been a while since i felt so good. So light and free. So zapped. To see a sky glittering with millions of stars. To hear nothing but my voice. To feel protected. I took a breath and pinched myself. A spectacular view from a mountain? A night sky with beautiful stars? Was it a dream?

Lets unravel a bit!!

This relates to the time I was in Auckland working part-time as I studied. I’d been through a hectic term. Exams and Interning was tough enough not to mention it was a cold harsh winter. I longed to be back in India sipping an OJ for it was summer there. I’d come home late from work and then stay up downing coffee and pushing myself for yet another sleepless night. And then pull through a paper not remembering anything after. The adrenaline was bound to burn off someday.

I had a weekend off after the exams and I decided to drive down to no place in particular. I’d heard about the beautiful parks in Auckland especially Mount Eden and I thought I should give it a try. But i struck out. The highway was jammed. With cars and snow. I had to stop mid way in a small road connecting the highway.

And that’s when I’d had enough. I got out of the car and stumbled in the dark with tears pouring, blinding my way. Snowflakes melted at my hot face as I drowned in a torrent of emotions. I couldn’t even see where I walked.

That’s when I met her. Mrs Eugene. I couldn’t believe what happened then. She took me to her cottage. (=Just like in a movie…a small cottage atop the hill with a friendly dog and a cute old man!!) And in that messed state I was in, they heard me out and gave me some brandy to drink 😉 (=Hey I was chilled in the snow!!)  And for that while I couldn’t stop crying. And secretly feeling so good that someone was so concerned.

In a while I was good to go. Mr Eugene took me through a different way to my car which incidentally was at their gate?!!? And I stopped. I saw IT. The snow. The trees. The sky. The silence. I gaped.  A brilliant dark blue sky with thousands of diamonds. Glittering diamonds. The beautiful city lit up and celebrating. The rivers and the beautiful night lights dancing together. I stood for an astonishing amount of time.

Just looking at a beautiful landscape, those unadulterated colours and that silence made me feel that this experience was god sent. The Universe wanted to replenish me. Refuel the adrenaline. I could feel warm wind engulfing me in a hug and the trees whispering their support to me.

When I realised that Mr Eugene and Wolfie the dog were waiting I was led to my car with directions and a welcome anytime. Contacts were exchanged and I drove for a bit and then looked back waving.

I know that life is hard. You’re knocked a little hard too often. But what I realised looking at the stars and blurting out all my seemingly silly troubles to an old couple who stared at the stars every night is:

Tonight I was destined. To see the stars and to feel ALIVE again. And that what took my breath away came after I was pushed to the precipice. The thing is the Little Girl in me believed that something nice HAD to happen. And Happen it did.

Maybe I was Destined. Maybe it Just Happened. But the Stars for me have never stopped Twinkling. Since then. Enjoy the brilliance in You. Maybe you need a star-studded sky to realise what a bright STAR you are. But its worth it.

Yes Maybe I was Destined.